The Man Cold

The end of the world has finally come. Life as we know it is at least temporarily over. Whatever could possibly be going on to make me come to this conclusion you ask? The Boyfriend has a cold. Yes, I said it. The dreaded man cold has invaded my house! My great big, six foot two inch, 200 something pound man has been reduced to a whining toddler. He wants my undivided attention and lots of hugs, kisses and head rubbing when he's like this. The most common phrase I hear out of him is "Love me!" At least he freely admits that he's a needy whiny ass when he's sick! My one bit of revenge today against the man cold, I made him go to the doctor. He really hates going there. I used blackmail by threatening not to snuggle with him later, but it worked. They did a chest xray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia, prescribed some meds and gave him a shot in the ass. He says it didn't hurt but it still totally made my day!

 Once we got home, as the sweet, loving girlfriend that I am, I of course indulge him as much as possible considering I have five actual children in the house also demanding my attention. I lay next to him making sure that no matter what position he's finally found to be comfortable, that we are touching in some way. I even manage to only cringe on the inside when he lays his clammy, sweaty head against me. As soon as he finally falls asleep, I quietly sneak out of the room and threaten the children with all sorts of useless things that I could punish them with if they wake that sleeping man up. I tell them that it's because he's sick and needs his rest but in reality, it's just because I've finally managed to get a few minutes without a giant man child attached to my hip.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. And when I'm not feeling well he does his best to ensure that I get some rest too. But let's face it, I'm a bit of a control freak and I like things done my way. Unfortunately, my kids also seem to feel like I'm the only human being on the face of the planet who can put water in their cup, tell them how to spell a word, answer why the cloud in the sky looks like a dinosaur or the countless other random questions, needs and wants they can possibly dream up. I am so desperate for just a little bit of peace and quiet, that after a couple warnings to my adorable little monsters to sit down, be quiet and watch tv, that I sent them to bed 20 minutes early. Not exactly mommy of the year moment but otherwise mommy is going to lose her shit. And how much do you want to bet that as soon as those little darlings finally stop talking, asking for drinks and going potty ten times each, the man will wake back up.