Mom Rant

After thirteen years of being a mother, it has finally happened. I'm a soccer mom. Not just that, I'm also an Odyssey of The Mind mom, a student council mom and a band mom. And that's just to two of my many children! If my younger girls get their way I'll also be a basketball mom and a ballet mom. The ironic thing about all of this is that I have social anxiety and I don't like new people. Having to actually talk to other parents is terrifying. It's like being in middle school all over again. I'm constantly on guard, thinking what if they don't like me, what if I say the wrong thing, how am I going to fit in?

We have a pretty unique family structure and to many it may seem trashy. I know that in some ways it's pretty amazing that I'm close to two of my Hubby's baby mamas and at least on speaking terms to the one other. I know that it's awesome how we get the majority of the kids together as often as we can and do family things together. I know that although it can be awkward, my kids adore the fact that both the Hubby and the Boyfriend are involved in their school activities and holidays. But for most people this is a lot to take in and not many understand it.

I know that I'm trying to do what I feel is best for my family and on the surface I project an "I don't care what you think demeanor." But on the inside I feel like my 13 year old daughter just begging for acceptance. And I feel like I'm never going to get that with other parents. I look around at all the cliques when we're at parent meetings and know that my family will never truly fit in. Most of these parents either seem like they have a giant stick up their butts or like they have their shit together way too much to want to be friends with the likes of me. And the ones who don't seem to fit into either of those groups, look like they would be way too much drama. Which is probably what they all think when looking at my bunch as well.

 I need some new mom friends but how do you find the ones you click with? I'd like to feel like I'm not alone in all of this parenting craziness. I want to meet the moms who love their kids and do their best but aren't afraid to admit that sometimes, their kids are just assholes. The moms who don't judge you for occasionally giving in when your four year old refuses to eat the dinner you slaved over so you just give her the pb&j she really wants, because face it, she's your fourth kid and sometimes, you're just too tired to argue, threaten and cajole her. I need some mom friendship and support to tell me that I'm bat shit crazy for the dynamics of my family but who will understand what I'm trying to achieve and support me in it anyways. Do other moms like me even exist?