My Teen's 1st Date

I've mentioned before that we are a rather unique family. That's how I prefer to think of it at least. I'm constantly paranoid that I'm doing something to screw up my kids. I'm especially afraid that my daughter's are going to grow up with "daddy issues" and low self-esteem. This is in part to my own issues I suppose. It doesn't help that my thirteen year old is boy crazy and goes through boyfriends much too quickly for my liking. I comfort myself with knowing that she's practically a straight A student, she's involved in amazing extracurricular activities in school, and I am 100% all up in her business. She really doesn't have the time to get into any trouble.

One of her extra activities is student council and about once a month they do a skating fundraiser. She absolutely loves going to these. And generally she prefers it if the Boyfriend (mine, not her's) takes her to these. This time he decided that they would go on a "real' date. He was so excited. It was adorable. He knows how easily she gets embarrassed, I have no idea where she get's this from...cough...cough...So he took her aside without witnesses and officially asked her out on a date. Her only response, "Will there be food?" Spoken like a true fat kid. lol. I say this because she is so tall and skinny and can seriously eat. I envy that girl's metabolism.

So the day of their date comes. They're wearing nearly matching neon green shirts, they show up better in the lighting at the skating rink. Her hair gets fixed all pretty. And she borrowed her four year old sister's tutu to go over her leggings. That part was for student council. If they got enough kids to go that night, the principle, who is male, would wear a tutu to school. She managed to look adorable though.

Anyways, back on topic. The Boyfriend goes out the back patio door where we park the cars, drives around to the front door and rings the doorbell like a proper gentleman. I call the teen to answer the door, which she does, only to tell him she's not ready yet and he'll have to wait. Then proceeds to close the door in his face! I'm trying like hell to keep a straight face as I let him in the house all the while asking him what his intentions are and what time he'll have her home. This may have been easier if our entire household wasn't standing around cracking up.

They had a blast. They tried out a new restaurant and went skating, where all her friends giggled and told her how jealous they are cause their dad's don't do things like that with them. When they got home, he dropped her off at the front door then went to park the car. While she layed across my bed telling me all about her night, he came in and switched into the parent role asking her how her date was, what they did and talked about and if the "boy" behaved himself.

Now her six year old sister wants her turn for a date night.

How I decided writing is healthy for me

Oh no, you have a huge dilemma and you have no idea what to do! You’re freaking out, stressing, maybe even on the verge of a panic attack. What are you going to do? Just breathe, it’s going to be ok. There is actually a fairly simple five step process to help with decision making. First, what is the actual problem? You can’t solve an issue if it’s clouded by a bunch of smaller issues. Gather all of the pertinent facts and have an idea of what the desired outcome should be. Second, what are the alternatives? How else could you go about solving this? Third, what are the advantages/disadvantages? Do you need more information? Next, what solution have you arrived at? And lastly, how well is the final result working out? Do you need to make any adjustments? If you can focus and think calmly, it’s not too difficult to solve your problem or make a decision using critical thinking.

The problem I’m having right now, isn’t really something to stress over or cause any anxiety attacks but it is something that means a lot to me. I’m basically a “Mommy Blogger”. Admittedly, I’ve been slacking in this area quite a bit lately. And by lately, I mean the last couple years. I love to write, I just never seem to have enough time to sit down and actually do it. For me, it’s not just about writing though. It’s a type of therapy. Whatever is going on in my world to frustrate me or cause me grief; from relationship problems, to kids driving me batty, to self-awareness, I can write it out to feel better and sometimes even come up with a solution. If I’m really lucky, what I’ve written will give another Mom the feeling of “OMG I’m not alone!”

So how am I going to solve my little dilemma of not having enough writing time or motivation? Easy. I’m going to break it down using my amazing critical thinking skills. Step one, what’s the problem? Not enough time to work on my writing. What’s my desired end result? More time to write and hopefully being able to reach and connect with a wider audience. Step two, what are the alternatives? I could continue to keep everything bottled up the way I have been doing for the past couple years. This has caused me a huge amount of stress and anxiety. I definitely need an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I could also miss the possible opportunity of reaching another stressed out Mom who is struggling and feels like she’s all alone in her misery and confusion. Step three, what are the advantages and disadvantages? Writing equals less stress and possibly helping others. Not writing equals no emotional outlet for myself and the missed opportunity of helping others. Step four, what is my solution? I’ve decided that making the time for myself to write, at least a few times a week, is going to be beneficial to my own mental health, the well being of my family because I won’t feel like I’m going to snap at the end of the day and hopefully have a positive impact on somebody else in this vast world. To achieve this result, I’m going to need to express my needs to my family so that they understand that this is important to me. I’m also going to have to remind myself that I’m not Superwoman and there is only so much that I can get done in one day. I need to prioritize what’s important and what can wait for another day. Step five, how is this solution working for me? I may have to write another post to let you know.

Welcome back to blogging

The wine is poured and the candles are lit.The air is lightly scented with the fragrance of my favorite pumpkin candles. All around me is peace and solitude...

 HaHa that's so funny and unlikely that I can't even continue! In reality I'm sitting at my kitchen table, remembering how much blogging used to relax me and trying like hell to figure out what to write about. Three out of the five children are with their father for the night, kid number four is in his room playing video games. And number five is the 18 year old so she's at work. She may be my favorite because of this. My boyfriend, fiance, hubby type person, depending on the day, my mood and his level of stupidity that day, is in the living room playing some racing video game while muttering "This is bullshit" which is usually my phrase. All things considered life is pretty good right now. I spent the better part of my day procrastinating the creation of a 1,400 word essay that I have to write for my college class. Part of my stalling tactic came in the form of helping one of my roommates learn how to use Blogger. While showing her the basics of how things work I started rereading some things I've written over the years. I couldn't help thinking that I use to be pretty good at this stuff. I made myself giggle at least. Or maybe I'm just easily amused. Who knows. Anyways, it made me realize how much I've missed this. Not just the writing but the entire blogging community. I've always loved reading the things that others have written. It makes me feel not so alone on the days my family makes me lose my shit. So here's my goal to myself. I'm going to write at least one blog post a week. Watch out bloggy world, here I come! :)

Fur Babies

As if  I don't have enough people living in this mad house we call a home, we also have 2 kittens, 1 cat, 1 dog and a turtle. I think a few of the fur babies are a bit confused on their roles though. Lets start with the cat. His name is Butthead and he belongs to Elora. Or she belongs to him, I'm not really sure how that works. He's mostly an outside cat and pretty much only graces us with his presence when he wants inside to eat and occasionally to allow one of us mere humans to pet him.

The turtle, we've had for about a year now. I think the kids named him Rocky but he's pretty much just known as the water puppy. He follows everybody back and forth is his aquarium and begs for food like a puppy.

The dog is Viper and he belongs to the Boyfriend. He's fluffy and cute and so damn needy! A lot like the Boyfriend actually. I guess it's true that when you've had a pet for a long time, you start to share some of the same personality traits. Shh don't tell on me.

Then there are the kittens. My 18 year old had been begging me for a cat because when she moved back in with me after giving it a try with her bio mom for a bit, she wasn't allowed to bring the cat she had gotten with her. I finally gave in and said we'd get one as her graduation present. A friend of mine had rescued two tiny little kittens that had been abandoned at their work but with all the other pets they had, they couldn't keep them. They were so little that they shouldn't have even been away from their mother yet. Separating them was most definitely out of the question. So without much thought, we took them both home. It was decided that one was mine and one was her's. The tabby was supposed to be mine and the lighter one was her's. We spent hours coming up with duo names and finally decided on Pebbles and Bam Bam. She agreed to help feed them and clean up after them, blah, blah, blah... You know how it goes. In reality though who ended up hand feeding them their kitten formula every three to four hours and giving them constant baths since they were too little to use the litter box yet? Me. To be fair, she did help a bit but it did seem to get old fairly quickly for her.

Now remember how I said that the tabby, Pebbles was mine and Bam Bam was her's? Somehow that changed. Bam Bam seemed to pick me. I think he's a bit brain damaged though cause he also picked the Boyfriend as his. And he doesn't even like cats. He's more of a dog person. But it works because Bam Bam seems to think he's a dog anyways. While Pebbles hisses at and tries to kick Viper's furry little butt, Bam Bam cuddles with him and they play together. And he's almost always glued to my side. He walks through the house crying if he can't find me. I'm pretty sure he would bark if he could. Not only does he seem to believe that he's a dog, he considers himself my guard dog. He insists on escorting me everywhere in the house, including the bathroom. And Heaven forbid I try to shower without him. He will wait right outside the bathroom door until I come out. If he's in the bathroom with me when I shower, he sits on the back of the toilet and cries unless I open the shower door just enough for him to check on me. And the best part, he even responds when I call him puppy. He gladly comes running.